jdhmnovel Chapter 420 Confusion after Returning
Chapter 420 Confusion after Returning
When Jiang Ciyou woke up in the morning, she saw her husband preparing breakfast for her. Her husband smiled and said to her, "Ciyou, it's great that you're back. We can start over again." Jiang Ciyou forced a smile, and that smile was like a candle in the wind, weak and erratic. She knew that she could not go back to the past, and her heart seemed to still be in the place where Lu Jingchen was, in that house full of memories.
She walked slowly towards the dining table, each step seemed to be a heavy yoke. Her eyes fell dully on the breakfast in front of her. The golden fried eggs, the fragrant bread, and the steaming milk were not attractive in her eyes. The figure of Lu Jingchen kept flashing in her mind. She remembered that Lu Jingchen had made breakfast for her before. At that time, he was so charming when he was busy in the kitchen with an apron. He would carefully place the breakfast on the plate, and then say to her with a smile: "Baby, come and have breakfast, this is my special breakfast of love." But now, although her husband in front of her was also preparing it carefully, she could not feel that kind of warmth.
Her husband seemed to notice her absent-mindedness. He sat down opposite Jiang Ciyou and asked softly, "Ciyou, what's wrong with you? Is your breakfast not to your liking?" Jiang Ciyou shook her head. She didn't know how to answer. How could she tell her husband that her mind was full of another man? She could only force out a sentence: "No, I'm just not very hungry yet." Her husband looked at her with a hint of doubt and worry in his eyes, but he didn't ask any more questions.
Jiang Ciyou picked up a piece of bread and tore it slowly, but never put it in her mouth. Her thoughts drifted further. She thought of the mornings she spent with Lu Jingchen. They would sit together in front of the window, enjoying the warmth of the sun on their bodies, eating breakfast, and sharing each other's dreams and plans. Lu Jingchen would always listen to her carefully, and then look at her with his gentle eyes, as if she was the center of his world. But now, there seemed to be an invisible barrier between her and her husband. She tried hard to break this barrier and regain her feelings for her husband, but she found that she couldn't do it.
She secretly glanced at her husband, who was eating breakfast with his head down. He looked so familiar, but also so strange. She began to reflect on whether her decision to come back was too hasty. At that time, she just felt that she could not abandon her past with her husband and could not go against her conscience. But now, she really realized that feelings are not such a simple thing. Her feelings for Lu Jingchen have been deeply rooted in her heart, and she can't give them up just because she wants to.
After breakfast, her husband offered to take Jiang Ciyou out for a walk. He said, "Ciyou, we haven't been out together for a long time. Today is a nice day. Let's go to the park." Jiang Ciyou hesitated for a moment, but finally nodded. She thought that maybe going out for a walk could make her feel better and help her adapt to her current life more quickly.
They came to the park, where people were coming and going. There were old people practicing Tai Chi, children playing and laughing, and couples walking hand in hand. Seeing those couples, Jiang Ciyou felt like being pricked by a needle in her heart. She couldn't help but think of every little thing she had with Lu Jingchen in the park. They had flown a kite in this park before. Lu Jingchen was running on the grass, holding the kite string in his hand, and she was smiling and cheering for him. The kite flew higher and higher in the sky, just like their love at that time, full of hope and vitality.
Her husband noticed her mood change, he held Jiang Ciyou's hand and said, "Ciyou, let's go over there too." Jiang Ciyou let her husband hold her hand, she felt his hand had a strange temperature. They walked along the path in the park, and her husband tried to find some topics to break the silence. He talked about his recent work and some trivial things in life, but Jiang Ciyou just listened absent-mindedly. Her mind was not on her husband's words at all, and Lu Jingchen's smile kept appearing in her mind.
As they walked, they came to a lake. The water was so clear that you could see the bottom, and there were a few ducks swimming around on the lake. Her husband pointed at the ducks and said to Jiang Ciyou, "Look, those ducks are so cute." Jiang Ciyou nodded, but there was no joy in her eyes. She remembered that she and Lu Jingchen had sat by the lake before, and Lu Jingchen would pick up small stones by the lake and skip them on the water for her to see. His movements were so skillful, and the small stones jumped on the lake, splashing a string of water. But now, she and her husband stood here, but they didn't feel that relaxed and happy.
Seeing that Jiang Ciyou was always depressed, her husband finally couldn't help asking, "Ciyou, are you still thinking about him?" Jiang Ciyou was shocked by her husband's words, and she didn't know how to answer. She wanted to deny it, but she knew she couldn't lie to her husband. She was silent for a while, and then slowly said, "I'm sorry, I know it's not good for me to do this, but I really can't control my thoughts." After hearing her words, her husband showed a hint of disappointment on his face, but he quickly adjusted himself. He said, "Ciyou, I know you had a relationship with him, but I hope you can try to forget him and we can start over. I will work harder to make you happy." Jiang Ciyou looked at her husband, she knew that her husband loved her sincerely, but she didn't know if she could fall in love with her husband again.
They walked around the park for a while and then went home. After returning home, Jiang Ciyou felt even more depressed. She returned to her room, closed the door, and sat on the bed alone. Her cell phone was aside. She wanted to pick up her phone and call or send a message to Lu Jingchen countless times, but she didn't know what to say. She knew that she had hurt Lu Jingchen and she had no right to disturb his life again.
In the evening, the husband prepared a sumptuous dinner. He wanted to make Jiang Ciyou feel better through delicious food. But Jiang Ciyou still had no appetite. She just ate a few bites and said she was full. The husband was a little helpless, but he still comforted Jiang Ciyou and said, "It's okay. If you don't want to eat, don't force yourself." After dinner, they sat on the sofa and watched TV. The husband chose a comedy, hoping to make Jiang Ciyou laugh. But Jiang Ciyou just watched TV expressionlessly, and her mind was not on the TV at all.
She kept thinking in her mind, what would the situation be like now if she hadn't left Lu Jingchen? Would they still live happily together like before? She knew that such thoughts were selfish, and she had hurt her husband and Lu Jingchen, but she just couldn't control her thoughts. She felt like a ship that had lost its direction in the vast ocean, not knowing where to go.
It was late at night, and Jiang Ciyou lay in bed, unable to fall asleep for a long time. She listened to her husband's even breathing, and her heart became more irritated. She felt that her life had become a mess. She didn't know how to face her husband, nor did she know how to forget Lu Jingchen. She opened her eyes in the dark, and tears flowed down unconsciously. She knew that she couldn't go on like this, and she had to make a decision, either try to forget Lu Jingchen and fall in love with her husband again; or bravely face her feelings and go find Lu Jingchen. But these two decisions were not so easy to make, and she fell into deep entanglement.
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